Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Watson & Crick:

...never dreamed of this.

On August 8 last year, a group of tourists were enjoying an afternoon aboard a Chicago Architecture Foundation tour boat. The Architecture River cruise takes a 90 minute ride along the Chicago River, viewing the details of over 50 famous buildings.

However, on this day, the tourists got more than they expected. As the boat passed under the Kinzie Street bridge, a passing tour bus emptied its bathroom waste tanks through the grating onto the helplessly upturned faces below. One hundred nine people, including several children and an infant, were showered with, um... sludge.

Surveillance cameras indicated a bus with characteristic markings was the only one to cross within 15 minutes of the incident, and descriptions from those passengers who could still see narrowed down the the bus to one chartered by the Dave Matthews Band.

The band was of course highly concerned, stated they were not on board at the time, that they trusted their long-time driver, and that they stood by his statement that he had nothing to do with the incident. In a public statement, the band members offered their DNA to prove that the offending items were not their droppings. The band later offered a $100,000 settlement for the passengers before results of the DNA test were divulged.

The case comes up before a judge next Friday, January 14th. There is no statement yet from the Illinois Attorney General's office regarding the results of the DNA test.

Moral - always be careful where you s#!t (or speak). Someone may carry it away and throw it for you. And it carries your characteristic stink, wherever it ends up.

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